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Edinburgh: Day 13 Aug 16

Bruised thighI have been monitoring the progress of my thigh, bruised heavily in my Exciting Fall last Thursday. As you can see, it only needs a few more shades to function as a Dulux colour chart. The bruise covers pretty much the entire front width of my leg and is, unsurprisingly, still a bit tender. But I’m soldiering on. Like the two little boys in Two Little Boys, there’s room on my horse for me.

A virtually full room for Three Man Roast made for a nice gig. I went for a drink with Billy afterwards and had a rare pint of beer (a Brew Dog IPA). Despite having a ticket to another show, profligately (and slightly weary of sitting in warm rooms for an hour) I decided to carry on chatting and have another pint of beer. And who can turn down a Trashy Blonde?

I can’t quite remember where the evening went (always a good sign) but after a quick curry at the very convenient Mosque Kitchen, it was time for the day’s main event: The Wrestling.

Crazy mofos Max and Iván (and I don’t use the word lightly: they really were crazy) decided to organise an Edinburgh Fringe wrestling match featuring comedians and professional wrestlers. It was incredibly foolish. It was also awesome.

The Wrestling
The likes of Colin Hoult, Humphrey Ker, Tom Rosenthal (on extremely creepy form) and former wrestler Max Olesker himself took on a host of well-built and very athletic scantily-clad pro-wrestlers. And if that wasn’t enough of a feast for the eyes, ringside announcer Nick Helm, roving reporter Matthew Crosby and commentators Brendon Burns and a gloriously-pitched Andrew Maxwell made the whole stupid spectacle hilarious.

I benefited from having recently got into WWE a bit (much to the chagrin of my 15-year-old self), so I recognised elements of the genre being imitated more than I’d’ve done a year ago. I also knew what a clothesline was (get me), although when massive wrestling fan Dan McKee started talking about tombstone piledrivers or rhinestone cowboys or whatever, I did get lost.

Dan was really getting into it, leaping to his feet and (as a very tall man) blocking the view of the people in more distant rows. I think this is what he does instead of drinking booze. His perspective was:

I was with Will Howells and when I was up from my chair practically foaming at the mouth he was sat rather demurely having a bit of a clap.

Which is what I get for showing some consideration for the ladies and gentlemen behind me. I mean, I’d’ve been most annoyed if the man in front of me had blocked my view of Mark Haskins. To pick a random example.

What I learnt today: Professional wrestling would be much more entertaining if the commentators were sarcastic, drunk comedians.

Recommended show: Three Man Roast (Yeah! As there’s no point recommending The Wrestling now…)

Obligatory plug: I’m in Three Man Roast, 2.35pm weekdays and Saturday 20th at Finnegan’s Wake on Victoria Street – free entry. Also at the Amused Moose Comedy Awards Showcase at the Pleasance Dome, 4pm on August 17th (book online).

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