Make sure you assist emergency services by placing an ICIGSITBOTH (In Case I Get Shot In The Back Of The Head) number in your mobile phone book.

Queen is Doctor Who fan – a headline that will surprise no-one…

Husband who chopped up wife gets 5 years – apparently that was “two years for manslaughter and three years for preventing the burial”.

Is manslaughter really a lesser crime than leaving a corpse in a freezer?

I have returned from my brief trip to London in one piece. I travelled on one bus and made four Tue journeys without being shot by the police blown up by The Terrorists. I got some new clobber while I was there and also picked up this anecdote about a friend’s housemate who showed less resolve in the face of Terror. (I should reassure you in advance that the subject received only minor flesh wounds in the making of this story.)

On Friday morning, having been spooked by the failed bombings of 21/7, he announced that he would be forgoing London’s public transport system and would instead travel to work by bike.

He headed off through Camden and was promptly hit by a van.