Finally saw it last night. A few quick comments:

Swizerland were the best. Go Vanilla Ninjas.

Wasn’t particularly enamoured with Greece.

Thanks to Terry Wogan’s description of one of the acts (Turkey?), I was reacquainted with the word “Archimandrite”. And yes, Cyril Shaps fans, he did have a hat.

I missed last night’s semi-final because I went to see a film and forgot to set the video.

I note, though, that of those tracks I identified as good, several have plunged out of the contest. Iceland, Slovenia and Lithuania were all knocked out, leaving only Switzerland and the UK from my Top 5. F.Y.R. Macedonia (who, I seem to remember, don’t like being called that) also go through while Spain had pre-qualified.

From my list of The Bad, it tended to be the dull, rather than hilariously bad, that lost: Belgium and Finland, although Croatia got through, amazingly. Portugal also went out. Sadly, Saturday’s viewers won’t be treated to the shockingly dire Irish performance as that too was ousted in the semi-final. Moldova and Norway made it through so we can laugh at them – unless they win, of course, in which case it’s tears of shame all round.

Greece and Norway have been tipped by the bookies, followed by Hungary. The latter came top of the semi-final and will be opening the show, followed by the UK. (Running order.) Opening will likely boost Hungary further, although Switzerland may still benefit from being near the end. (Sweden – for Stuart – are near the middle of the show, performing 14th.)

The 50th Eurovision Song Contest is less than two weeks away. There are so many contestant countries that – like last year – there’ll be a semi-final a couple of days before the final. (Who fans note that The Empty Child will be on at 6.25pm6.30pm to make way for Eurovision.)

The Good
Five that aren’t too bad:

• Iceland (dancy)
• Switzerland (rocky, and the band’s called Vanilla Ninja)
• Slovenia (ballady)
• Lithuania (also dancy)
• United Kingdom (Touch My Fire)

Honourable mentions too to F.Y.R. Macedonia, despite some awful dancing, and Spain, despite being pretty much Las Ketchup.

The Bad
Some of these are awful while some are, in true Eurovision spirit, amusingly bad.

• Belgium (really dull ballad)
• Croatia (a dirge called “Wolves Die Alone”)
• Finland (fittingly, the title is “Why?”)
• Ireland (dreadful – two loud children dancing like it’s a school disco)
• Moldova (oh dear, oh dear, oh dear; you’ll have to see this to believe it)
• Norway (stadium rawk)
• Portugal (Renee and Renato for the twenty-first century)
• Ukraine (the ugliest boyband in the world…ever! rap “Lies be the weapon of mass destruction”)

The Rest
There is a sprinkling of interest amongst the other contestants. Latvia have entered a cut-price McFly; Bosnia-Herzogovina’s Atomic Kitten clones will probably do well despite the song being trite nonsense; Denmark’s entry has lousy verses but an OK chorus; Hungary are going for the Ukraine/Riverdance vote with a crowd of dancers; and Serbia & Montenegro are represented by a Balkan Westlife.

Finally, Austria’s entry is like the Buena Vista Social Club withot the Buena Vista. Or the Club. So like the social then. With yodelling.

But don’t take my word for it – you can watch all the entries, read the lyrics and, oh, so much more on the Eurovision website.

Once again the UK’s post-Eurovision coverage has been full of reports of block voting, countries backing their neighbours, etc., etc. In pointedly noting the douze points vote swapping between Greece and Cyprus, these stories have forgotten we were as much a party to the “love thy neighbour” principle. The only points, seven, that saved Ireland from a well-deserved nul points were from their neighbours: us. And they were one of the few countries to give us any points.

Much of this friendly voting cancels itself out, and it takes more than local support to win. Let’s not pretend that the ten points we gave to Cyprus had nothing to do with the nationality of the 16-year-old from Kent who performed the (tedious and warbling, but oh so worthy) Cypriot entry. It is not as if we didn’t give points (five) to the eventual winners, or that we didn’t give any to second place Serbia (three) or third place Greece (we gave them the maximum twelve).

Of course some of the voting is political, but there is also good reason for countries from the same region to support each other. Many nations – Serbia was a notable example -enter songs that represent their own culture. Eastern Europe has a different cultural background from Western Europe and that is reflected in those countries’ traditional music. It is hardly surprising if Macedonia or Bosnia recognises positively aspects of Serbia’s entry, just as the UK is more inclined to vote for upbeat pop or cheesy ballads sung by teenagers.

Blair’s position on Iraq has undoubtedly lost us votes the last two years, although potential Eurovision failure was probably the worst argument against a pre-emptive, bilateral, dubiously legal attack. The UK’s problem with countries voting for their friends is that we have precious few.

Now there has been the suggestion that we should follow the examples of the USSR and Yugoslavia: break up into several states (or submit separate entries from Wales, Scotland, Northern Ireland and England) and thereby contribute four times the votes, which we can shower on each other. An alternative would be to choose the winner on a popular vote across the whole of Europe, rather than allowing tiny Monaco the same number of votes as sprawling Russia. But this would mean doing away with the clumsy voting from each country which is half the fun.

So I have a cunning plan to secure our success next year: the UK should enter a better song.