The Beeb will be showing Making Your Mind Up (aka A Song for Europe) this Saturday. So, inspired by the Best Decade poll at Troubled Diva (where you can still vote until Friday night), I’m offering you, dear reader, the chance to rank the five songs shortlisted to represent Royaume-Uni.
Andy Scott Lee – Guardian Angel
You may remember Andy Scott Lee from such failings as boy band 3SL, Not Winning Pop Idol and having a sister who was the rubbish one in Steps (<waits for Nick Barlow to point out this doesn’t narrow it down>). Here he attempts to destroy any remaining credibilty (yeahright) by singing a song co-written by the one from Blue that has the Kenneth Williams nostrils. You know the one, Gordon’s friend.
This does sound like a particular bad Blue track. It stretches Mr Scott Lee’s voice to the limit and, unfortunately, beyond. Trite tripe. Next.
Gina G – Flashback
Ooh, aah, Gina G’s back. This gives me the opportunity to revive my comment that “Gina G” is an anagram of “Aging”.
Judging by the clip, Flashback is nothing special – standard pop fare. But while it lacks any obvious pros, there are no glaring cons either.
Javine – Touch My Fire
Javine was apparently on Popstars: The Rivals. She was the last person evicted/executed/whatever to leave the remaining five as Girls Aloud. She must be gutted.
This is more standard pop fare with some teasingly effnic strings. I can’t see this wowing millions across Europe, but it’s the best so far.
Katie Price – Not Just Anybody
I know what you’re thinking: “Wasn’t Katie Price a candidate for Parliament in 2001?” Yes, she was but since then she’s become famous as a model or something. Oh, and she’s engaged to Peter Andre, wot did that song once.
So <sigh> even more really standard pop fare. I guess that’s what Eurovision’s all about though. Not much to choose between this and Gina G, except that Gina G isn’t Jordan and therefore gets a bonus point.
And so to our final contenders, Tricolore, their name a cunning plan to bag the French, Italian, Irish and Belgian votes. They are one of those “making boring music trendy” groups who sing classical stuff but have nice hair and appear in Just 17.
Well, it’s different, but who said that was a good thing? (Apart from, erm, Tricolore.) A tinny beat doesn’t make this any more exciting. Even a bonus point for not being Jordan won’t help this sub-Michael Ball trio.
My verdict then: 1. Javine, 2. Gina G, 3. Katie Price, 4. Tricolore, 5. Andy Scott Lee. And whichever of them wins, we’ve surely already lost.
Please rank the acts yourself in the comments section. I’ll give 5 points for a first place (I was tempted to start at 12 but it really doesn’t work for five choices), 4 for second, 3 for third, 2 for fourth and 1 for fifth even though he doesn’t deserve it.
Vote now!
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