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The Saturday List: What Not To Eat Mar 06

I’ve spent much of the day at my computer without writing anything other than emails, so I thought I’d write a blog post.

I’m currently eating some cheese. I don’t eat cheese. When I tell people this, they’re often stunned, as if I’ve just announced that I have a third nipple or have joined the Tories or have found a good Michael Bay film.

“How can you not eat cheese?”
“Well, I don’t put it in my mouth.”
“But cheese is lovely. I love cheese.”
“I don’t.”

I do, in fact, eat cheese, but only under certain conditions. If it’s melted – so pizza and lasagne are allowed. Or if it’s got fruit in. The cheese I’m eating at the moment is Wensleydale with Cranberry. This is still the first time I’ve eaten an unmelted cheese in about 10 years. And I’m not enjoying it that much.

But I’m a fussy eater anyway. So to launch this occasional series designed to give me something easy to blog about, here’s a non-exhaustive list of Food I Don ‘t Eat.

  • Cheese (mostly)
  • Ham
  • Gammon
  • Prawns
  • Sweetcorn
  • Anchovies
  • Any form of bacon that isn’t a basic unsmoked bacon rasher
  • Dark chocolate (usually)
  • Salt
  • Anything labelled “Organic”

If you happen to be passing this blog post, do share the food you don’t eat in the comments.

9 Responses

  1. 1

    I can never get people to understand my dislike of pizza.
    But its cooked tomato and excessive cheese and that’s melted and ugh.

  2. 2

    I too only eat cooked cheese, unless it is soft. And even when it’s cooked, it generally has to be from Orkney!

  3. 3

    Well I can tell you I think you’re missing out on the top 5 of your list, at least. And ‘cheese’ doesn’t really do justice to the breadth and depth of available varieties of this particular dairy delight. I mean, a man can take or leave a block of cheddar, but a little room temperature brie on biscuit with butter, washed down with a little port? A breaded, deep fried camembert? A steaming hot bowl of Stilton soup?

    I can’t help but feel there is an injustice done when you label the multi-faceted, multi-talented fromage ‘cheese’, and are done with it at that. But never mind – it is, as they say, your own loss.

    I don’t really have many foods I just “don’t eat”. I’m not a huge fan of olives or capers, but I can eat them reasonably happily. Marmite, liquorice and aniseed produce a violent physical reaction from me that I am at a loss to understand or explain. Apart from that, though, generally I find that I can warm to near enough any food by continually exposing myself to it. The trick is just to keep at it, and eventually you can learn to love anything.

    I’m also pretty certain that you do eat salt. Otherwise you’d almost definitely be dead.

    Unless you are dead, in which case you can probably be excused for not eating cheese.

  4. 4

    Good list, Stu – add raw olives, Marmite, and liquorice/aniseed to mine. Horrible. Pernod – urgh.

    I do eat salt, but I never add it and get very annoyed when one of the canteens near work (supposedly with a healthy eating policy) decides to smother their potatoes in it.

    One of my friends is determined to expose me to the range of cheeses in order to convert me. I am not anticipating success.

  5. 5
    Liberal Neil 

    I have also been enjoying some wendelydale with cranberries, and some white stilton with apricots and some brie. All delightful.

    I don’t eat brussel sprouts, cabbage, olives, and the curry you get from Chinese takaways. (Although I do eat proper curry) I don’t like cream much either.

  6. 6

    I love cheese and anchovies, capers, olives and Marmite. I don’t eat bananas unless they are cooked and I don’t eat cooked apples unless they have lots of spices etc to drown the taste.

  7. 7

    I don’t eat raw tomatoes, blue cheese or mushrooms. Or aubergines, but they are quite easy to avoid. I rather like aubergines, but they make me gag, which is quite annoying. Both for myself and for people around me as I compliment their aubergine stew while simultaneously making upchuck noises.

    However, I feel that I am missing out, so end up eating a surprising amount of raw tomato, blue cheese and mushrooms. As yet, I have almost liked a cherry tomato and don’t find reconstituted chestnut mushrooms too repellant – one day I will eat and enjoy a strange trumpet shaped fungus.

    Blue cheese just tastes of mould, though. Infecting white stilton with mould seems like a waste of a perfectly decent cheese. The introduction of apricots into the same is much more acceptable, even if it still feels wrong. It does taste very nice though.

  8. Seafood – the most pernicious oxymoron in English.

    We left the seas hundreds of millions of years ago. It was a monumental evolutionary effort to grow lungs, and legs, and finally opposable digits. Why on Earth would we have gone to all that bother, if there was anything worth eating in the sea? If shrimp and mussels were food, wouldn’t we still be swimming? Did the dinosaurs die for nothing?!?

    Oh, and boiled carrots. Raw, or roasted, they’re fine. Boiled carrot is felched direct from Satan’s ringpiece.

  9. 9
    Xavier Izaguirre 

    Boiled eggs> hate’em. but love all the other ways of eating them. weird!