Subscribe RSS

Archive for the Category "Letters"

Don’t forget to tell the Secretary of State if you die Jun 29

John Hemming identifies clauses in the Identity Cards Bill governing the information that must be kept up-to-date on penalty of £1,000 fine:

(a) his full name;
(b) other names by which he is or has previously been known;
(c) his gender;
(d) his date and place of birth and, if he has died, the date of his death; and
(e) physical characteristics of his that are capable of being used for identifying him

(e) is probably the most exciting. If the campaign against ID cards fails and they are introduced, perhaps the system could be overwhelmed by thousands of people writing every day to the Secretary of State to update him on changes to their physical characteristics?

Dear Home Secretary,

I’m just writing to let you know that I cut myself shaving this morning and now have a clearly identifying mark on my right cheek.

I.D. Card-Holder


Dear Home Secretary,

Just thought I should mention that I’m feeling really rough today. I drank too much last night (don’t worry, I wasn’t in an Alcohol Control Zone) and this morning my hair’s a mess, my breath stinks and I’m too hungover to do anything about either. These distinguishing marks may be important should I be today suspected of terrorist involvement.

With love,
I.D. Card-Holder


Dear Home Secretary,

Contrary to my letter last week, I have decided to wear contact lenses only on Tuesdays and Thursdays. not Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays as previously notified. I like to go out on a Saturday and I thought the contacts would make me look less speccy but the bars I’ve been frequenting are quite smoky (they don’t serve food, y’see) and the tobacco has been playing havoc with my corneas.

The upshot is that if someone tries to claim benefits in my name on Saturdays, you’ll know it’s not me if they’re not wearing glasses.

Yours sincerely,
I.D. Card-Holder

 | Comments off
Re: Joyce Mar 21

I recently wrote to my MP, Eric Joyce, about the Elect the Lords campaign. I told him I was supporting the campaign, gave him my reasons, and asked him his views and to give his support if he agreed. I also asked him to forward my letter to the Lord Chancellor.

Last week I got a reply. Here is the substance of it.

I have written on your behalf to The RT Hon,[sic] Lord Falconer of Thornton[sic] QC, as you requested and I will contact you again on receipt of his response.

That’s it. No comment on the issue at all, not even an “I’m yet to decide” (i.e., “I’m yet to be told what to think”). But that shouldn’t be a surprise since Joyce is one of the Guardian‘s Top Toadies.