If you’ve not seen it yet, do check out The Very Fluffy Diary of Millennium Dome, Elephant. It’s funny, mischievously satirical, and awfully furry:

On the radio, a man from the police is saying that the police should keep their SHOOT TO KILL policy. But it should not be CALLED shoot to kill. Even though it involves SHOOTING people in order to KILL them.

Daddy Richard says I should look up DOUBLETHINK.

Alex Foster’s photo of queuing LibDems prompts me to comment on the bizarre security checks being carried out at party conference in Harrogate.

I was fortunate not to be caught up in any long delays, but I have a conspiratorial mind: I’m the sort of person who, while waiting to pass through the metal detector at the airport, can’t help wondering about the best way to get a bomb onto the plane. I therefore found myself pondering the logic of the system to which we were subjected when entering the conference centre.

I was asked to remove my coat, which was then examined by a security officer. I was asked if I had a mobile phone and to have it turned on. This was then also checked by security. And that was it. If my phone had actually been a detonator, I could have got round this stringentest of scans by claiming not to have one. If I wanted to get a pistol into the conference centre, I would merely have to have made sure to carry it in my trouser pocket and not my coat. A Richard Reid style shoe bomb would have gone undetected. No self-respecting terrorist would have been caught or deterred.

It’s possible the security checks were so good that this was all misdirection, and I was so enthralled and puzzled that I didn’t notice the hi-tech X-ray CCTV cameras giving me the twice over, but I think not. If we’re going to take security seriously, for our own safety, I can accept being slightly delayed so that it can be done thoroughly. Being checked so seriously, but so ineptly, though, is most off-putting.

I don’t know who came up with these procedures. I’d like to think that the Harrogate International Centre was concerned to protect itself and foisted them upon the party, because then the concern is why the HIC’s systems are so attrocious. The alternative is that the party needs to show the media that it takes itself seriously as the “real opposition”, and therefore has to act as if it considers itself a prime target for terrorism. Knowing, however, that it isn’t much of a target at all, it doesn’t matter if the security procedures are lax. I hope it’s the first explanation.

BBC News: Radio comedian Linda Smith dies:

News Quiz regular Jeremy Hardy paid an emotional tribute, calling her “the wittiest and brightest person working on TV or radio panel games”.

I have got myself a free account on Skype, the famous internet telephony thingummy, but I’ve only got a handful of contacts on it. Feel free to add me if you have it – my username is willhowells but searching on my name brings me up as the only result.

I haven’t been able to test it with anyone else yet so no idea if it’s as good as it claims. Because I’ve still not got over my cold, my voice isn’t really up to speaking for more than a few minutes, but I’d be interested to try it out.