And away again

I've barely been back in Leeds and it's time to head off again. I'm returning to Hartlepool this evening as the by-election reaches its climax.

Blogging has been light, but I have a good excuse: my mobile phone, provider of my home internet connection, was stolen at the weekend. Spending half an hour at Lewisham police station at 4am on Sunday morning was, of course, joyous. As well as the ability to telephone, text message and web browse, I've also lost my radio, alarm clock and mobile blogging tool.

Still, it's an excuse to get a nice upgrade. I'm thinking of a Nokia 6600. I'd like to be able to watch videos but still need infrared. It will be a shame to lose the radio and torch though.

You know you need a haircut when...

...you brush your fingers through your hair and break a nail.

Conference takes its toll

I'm so tired.

Got to bed around half four last night only to have to be up bright and early this morning to speak in a debate (including writing the speech). That did go well despite my hangover.

On Tuesday, I did a fringe panel as a contributor - first time for me. I talked about the other parties' higher education funding policies, identifying their pros and cons and outlining some of the best arguments to use when debating them.

I was also roped into doing a panel debate on Five Live. Loads of contributors but, because I was speaking as a LibDem and it was about us, I was able to say more than the previous time I was on a similar panel debate when I manated a couple of sentences. I was in a BBC booth in Bournemouth with John Pienaar, who was pleasant about my performance. I'll check when I get back to Leeds whether it's available on the Five Live website.

Jody's speaking just before 4pm before she shoots back up to Hartlepool. I'll definitely be in the hall for that. Oh, and I must mention that The Keetch touched my back the other day. The backache has now subsided. Coincidence, or something else?

First full day of conference

The media have been describing the mood here in Bournemouth as "upbeat", presumably because that's what our press release said. But it's absolutely true. Everyone here is really positive about our recent poll ratings and potential for next year's expected General Election.

Last night's LDYS Race Night went very well, thanks in particular to our hosts Baroness Scott and Lembit Öpik. I went to an excellent fringe on party funding from the New Politics Network this lunchtime, and tonight it's the Association of London Government disco.

I'm looking forward to this conversation

Government: So, BBC, why didn't you let us know there was going to be a protest in the Commons?

BBC: We didn't want to report a single, unverified source.

Commons insecurities

Armed guards will be protecting our MPs today, following yesterday's invasion of the House of Commons by pro-hunt protesters. Would it have made a difference yesterday? Probably not. The armed guards at Buckingham Palace didn't shoot Batman. Determined protesters like those seen yesterday are not going to be put off getting in to the Commons.

Naturally, the protest should have been condemned.

So where were the security systems that should have stopped them?

The public entrance
The protesters seem to have accessed Parliament through the St Stephen's entrance. They passed through the security system there. That means they were unarmed. No guns, no bombs, no knives. So why should we have needed machine gun wielding policemen to stop them?

They got in with a forged invitation from MPs. Perhaps appointments should be checked with MPs' offices in future?

Accessing the "private" areas
We are told that the protesters got through a security door because the swipe card system wasn't working. The answer to this isn't too beef up security, it's to make sure that the security systems that exist are actually switched on!

Help from inside?
There is talk of help being given from someone inside the Palace precinct - The Guardian reports suggestions that a Tory MP's researcher may have been involved. And this is the real problem with any increase in security: if you've got inside help, or a Parliamentary pass yourself, you're going to be able to get in. The best plan for al-Qaeda if they want to blow up Parliament (and I'm not trying to provide tips here) is for one of their number to get elected as an MP.

All that said, it probably is for the best that armed guards - who were already present in the precinct - should protect the Commons. The nonsense of a Deputy Serjeant-at-Arms with a sword and tails has been rightly condemned. But if we call for it now, it should not be a direct result of the recent protest - which may have ended an unnecessarily shooting - but because through this protest we've learnt with some surprise that it wasn't already the case.

Meanwhile, Peter Tatchell made a rather stupid point on Newsnight last night: he tried to argue that proportional representation (which I'm all for if by STV) would give those who feel disaffected any unrepresented in the Commons a voice rather than having to resort to direct action. He obviously hasn't noticed that the Tories, who nearly all oppose the ban, have plenty of MPs. Indeed, it was their spokesman who was interupted by the protesters. He also talked about how he'd campaigned for the rights of minorities against a prejudiced majority - before decrying hunting as disgusting without a hint of irony.

The Bring-Back-Doctor-Who Party

Sheffield MP Meg Munn suggests a new political party that is now, happily, redundant.

In all elections in the United Kingdom, the names of candidates are currently listed on the ballot paper in alphabetical order using the surname. When the election concerns parties, such as in the European elections, they are also listed alphabetically. Consequently, someone with the surname "Blair" would find themselves listed above someone with the surname "Howard", or, indeed, Kennedy. The Ant Liberation party, should such a party exist, would appear above the Bring-Back-Doctor-Who party or the Flat Earth party.

(Source: Hansard)

Go supersize yourself

Feeling hungry at a station yesterday, I popped in to Burger King to get myself a Chicken Whopper meal. I ended up being relatively virtuous: I refused to "go large" (although this was undermined by the woman serving me, who charged me for a regular meal but gave me a large drink and large chips - sorry, fries - anyway), and I opted to lose the mayonnaise from my Chicken Whopper (as much to make it easier to eat and because I'm not a mayo fan, but also to cut the fat).

The best bit, though, was the fries: Burger King have stopped adding salt! They had a flyer to explain and everything. You can ask for salt, but by default they come without. Since I've never been able to fathom why people want to pile salt on their food (it doesn't "enhance the flavour", it makes it taste of salt!), I was very pleased.

In other weekend news, I'm one clue off solving Auraucaria's devious prize crossword from Saturday's Guardian, although one of my other answers is a little dubious.

I've just been IDed

Not, I should make clear, having a lunchtime snifter.

There's an animal rights demo going on outside the building, so I had to show my badge. Which I stopped carrying months ago because I was never asked for it. But I talked my way in, which makes me feel safe.

GMail

I think I like GMail, although I have so many e-mail address already that I've not started using it much yet. However, I do have a whopping great six invitations for GMail accounts, so if you want one say so in the Comments box (if it's working) or e-mail me.

All (well, some) change

So Alan Milburn is drafted back into the Cabinet as Chancellor - sorry, Chancellor of the Duchy as Lancaster - after Blair gave up trying to drop Ian McCartney as party chairman.

Does this mean my taxes are now paying Cabinet level salaries for two party operatives? Or do these posts not cost taxpayers money? I don't know the answer, but there is something distinctly wrong if we're paying for Labour to employ a General Election co-ordinator.

Meanwhile, Michael Howard has also shuffled his front bench team. He seems to have given up on his supposedly radical idea of a small shadow cabinet from a few months back, although it's not entirely clear why since the shadow cabinet doesn't actually run anything. I wonder who the new Shadow Minister for Deregulation is actually shadowing; the same applies to Teresa May in her role as Shadow Minister for the Family.

Is he just inventing jobs for the sake of it? It's a somewhat ham-fisted attempt to brand posts with a certain message. What next: Michael Ancram as Shadow Secretary of State for Looking Down Our Noses at Foreigners? David Davis to become Shadow Minister for Hanging and Flogging?

Sunset Beach

Thanks to Popbitch, I have learnt that from next Monday, Five will be repeating Sunset Beach.

And, lo, there was dancing in the streets.

If you missed it on ITV2 or on Channel 5, don't miss it this time. Watch the saga unfold!

Hughes next President of the Liberal Democrats

Simon Hughes has been elected the next President of the Liberal Democrats, taking around 70% of the vote against fellow MP Lembit Öpik.

I was backing Simon (although I'm sure Lembit would have done a creditable job) and look forward to his taking the party forward over the next two years under Charles's leadership. Well done, Simon!