No geek
is an island

Here is a helpful web application for Labour ministers. Simply print out this post and cross out the choices as applicable. Then hand in at 10 Downing Street.

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The Deputy Prime Minister/The Secretary of State
ODPM/DEFRA/The Home Office/Department of Health

27 April 2006

Dear Tony,

Over the last few days I have reflected on the recent situation. While I welcome your public support for me and have enjoyed my time at the Office of the Deputy Prime Minister/DEFRA/the Home Office/the Department of Health, I believe it is time I consider my position in the interests of the party.

I do, of course, take no blame for shagging my secretary/the hardship of farmers/the thousand foreign prisoners that should have been considered for deportation but weren’t/the current ruddy health of the NHS, but I realise that my continuing in post may have an adverse effect come the local elections on May 4. I hope that nothing here precludes me from returning to the Cabinet in June.

I trust that my departure will be seen by the press and the public as the end of the issue, even though my wife’s not happy/farmers still haven’t been paid/foreign ex-cons are still on the loose and planning to murder all the children/someone sacked all the nurses. I therefore regretfully tender my resignation as Deputy Prime Minister/Environment Secretary/Home Secretary/Health Secretary in order to spend more time with my wife/caravan/pies/superciliousness.

All best wishes,

John/Margaret/Charles/Pat

Every wondered what it would be like to meet everyone’s favourite Star Trek captain, Kate Mulgrew? No?? Lee had. Find out what happened when he found himself in a bar with her: Episode One / Episode Two.

Thought the kung fu monky monk monks in Tooth and Claw reminded you of something? Perhaps it was this.

Loved New Earth but weren’t too keen on the cast? Maybe you’ll like it more this time.

From theguardian, via Outpost Gallifrey, comes the sad news that BT are dropping Tom Baker as their landline text message voice, and thus spoiling the fun of literally tens of texters.

However, the moment has been prepared for:

The service, which allowed people to send messages from their mobile phones to landlines, to be enunciated in Baker’s classic deep voice, will be changed to include both male and female voices. A BT spokesman said it wanted to give people the opportunity to have their texts delivered to landlines by a voice of their own gender.

Short of a PledgeBank-organised mass protest outside BT’s HQ - or, possibly, petitioning them with lots of text messages to their landlines contact numbers - that’s that.

“Good morning, and welcome.”

“To save time today, let me first say that I have full confidence in the following Cabinet Ministers: Patricia Hewitt, Charles Clarke, John Prescott…”

…it really should be this splendid piece from everyone’s favourite furry heffalump, Millennium Elephant, who was fortunate enough to find that one of Newsnight’s focus group participants for David Cameron’s friend Frank Luntz was “the lady who lives upstairs”.

BBC News: Lib Dem donor faces fraud charges:

Scottish businessman Michael Brown is being extradited to the UK to face a number of charges including fraud, forgery and obtaining by deception.

I know we’re supposed to be grateful for his generosity, but I can’t help thinking “Haha”.